Monday, June 28, 2010

The Moth Outbreak


If you’re lofting Downtown, you are bound to find these little creeps flying around your skylights, nibbling at your favorite shirt, or worse, making a nest in your relaxation corner, aka spiritual tuning center. Where are these summer pests breeding? Rumor has it, they inhabit the roof of the Staple Center, making life miserable for those living in South Park, but let’s face it, The Old Bank District has it bad too! You start to notice their residency mid-spring, but come summer, when you want to open your windows and allow the summer breeze to refresh your humble dwelling, the freaks are flying with a mission to invade. I just don’t understand… why here? Why in our city? Can’t they breed in Venice by the sea, or in the posh homes of Beverly Hills? These flying nuisances seem to hurl themselves around my loft right when I am about to get some shut-eye, hitting my chandelier (ping), fluttering against the widows (ping, ping), and muttering through my freshly folded clothes (ping, ping, ping)! I want to smack them down, but of course the full reach of my lengthy 5’4” stature is no help with 12 foot ceilings. Next thing I know all the lights are on, and one moth is flying around in awe. NOW, I am mimicking King Kong, hopping from the kitchen table to the sink, and base-jumping off the fridge with gleaming red eyes and a rolled up issue of 944 Magazine. Swing, swat, miss, and repeat. Like they say, “It takes more energy to swing and miss than to swing and hit.” I am desperate, psychotic if you will, and contemplating hosing the sucker down with the sink’s spray nozzle and trading in a little peace and quite for the woman-made-river I’m about to create in my kitchen (this is not be confused with the fun, lazy-river of Wild Rivers Water Park). After surrendering to the moth, which I named Steve Urkel (loosely based of the character from Family Matters), I put a protective net around my bed and called it a night.  While contemplating drenching my light bulbs in honey, I finally fell asleep. For these annoying and destructive creatures try the following:
o Put cedar blocks in the closet. They're non-toxic.
o Vacuum the baseboards and ceilings incase you have baby moths growing (gross).
o If you have a patio or yard (lucky), use yellow light bulbs instead of white.
o Do not be afraid to call pest control, management or a landlord.

Thankful I don’t own a wool carpet,
Carlyn

3 comments:

  1. Funny. You better check your cereal boxes for larves...I know it's gross!
    BTW...really enjoyed the King Kong reference...good imagery.

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  2. That is funny! Still, poor thing (you, not the little monster with wings), an insect driving you crazy! I can see you in the loft squaring off with him (or her)!

    But, take heart, Carlyn, their cousins are down here, only these guys have TEETH! I swear it. Maybe try a stun gun on a pole?
    I enjoyed your battle:)

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