Marriage in LA, yeah right?

If you look up the word marriage in the Angelino Dictionary you are sure to see the following phrases: "Please, why would I want to do that? I am too young (they're 35)! I am working on my career right now. Gross." You may see Flinching (see last blog). My answer- you want to share your life intimately with the one that makes your heart smile. Age is just a number and when you know, you know (so 'they' say). You will always be working on your career and I hope to God you will always be working on bettering yourself. There will always be new dreams and passions, otherwise and this I will put bluntly, YOU'RE BORING and wasting the gift of life.

It's funny, until the other day, I didn't even realize I fell under this LA Spell. Although, I am content with where my feet are firmly planted, if you were to ask me what I thought about marriage, I would reply "ugh, um, blah." In fact, I have a reoccurring dream of running from the alter. It's very Julia Roberts, "Runaway Bride." So clearly I have some type of commitment issues, but I am sure my issue stems from committing to finishing projects! But, the subconscious is very mysterious... quite the sneaky bastard. Still, hating marriage is so not who I AM! I grew up not so much fantasizing about my wedding day, but dreaming of falling in love and staying in love till death do us part. So when did all this change? We all want to be loved and when you're loved you cannot help from giving love. What's the problem? The ego of LA is so big we fall mercy to its fictional projections of what relationships are. Please correct me if I am wrong here... Everything needs balance on this earth (yin and yang), which would mean companionship is natural to desire. I want someone I can spoon with dam it! LOVE and SOUL MATES, those are some big words and I want to hike to the top of Runyon Canyon and yell them...I bet we will get some faster runners. Why? Ego and fear... two false, imaginary words that ruin lives. My parents were divorced when I was a baby and my mom remarried and even they don't get along. Is that it for me? Is it that simple? Perhaps. I still believe in that can't eat, can't sleep, reach for the stars, over the fence, it's out of the park world series kind of stuff. Maybe its as simple as when you fall off your bike you get back on. When you don't understand calculus you get a tutor (therapist) and my personal favorite, practice makes perfect. Sometimes you got to date a lot of frogs to find your prince! It's roulette, it's scary, but it is WORTH IT! To end my blabbering mouth, I must quote the talented, smart, and gorgeous Kristin Chenoweth, she puts it far better in words than I. "It's a relationship stink bomb for a women to admit that she wants to be married; it sounds old-fashion at best and at worst, desperate. (Frankly,it would help matters if they'd allow gay marriage because anything gays do is automatically chic.) I don't make judgements about what's right or wrong for other people, but for me, the idea of living together without being married feels very 'leave the gun, take the cannoli.' I don't care if it sounds old-fashion. I'm saying right now and for the record, I believe in marriage as a social institution, a business deal, and a holy sacrament. I'm not jaded about it because long before I witnessed the bitchy divorces of Beverly Hills, I watched the long, rich marriages of my parents and grandparents..."

I couldn't have put it any better than that! AND for the record, I am stating even though I live in the LA 213 area code, I believe in marriage and I wish us all the love a wonderful marriage holds!

Wishing and hoping, and thinking and praying, planning and dreaming,

Carlyn