Thursday, January 21, 2010

Flinching 101

Flinching is necessary for all well mannered beings! Correct flinching, in no particular order:

1). If you are A) driving and about to hit another vehicle, Flinch or B) if you are about to be the one hit by an oh so careless driver, Flinch (and then wave happily- it's more affective than flipping the bird).

2). If you are on a date and the check comes, Flinch (as in reaching for you wallet). I mean the girl should never pay, but its nice to show that you would. Or B) pay for the check because you want to (you love him) and do a mini Flinch so he knows to pay next time and bring flowers.

3). If you see your Ex with his new girlfriend walking HER dog, Flinch before he sees you, this way you can be cool, calm, and collected before the polite "OMG how are you? You look great" run-in.

4). If you have a friend that has done wrong to you and you know it is time to cut this friend out of your life (this ones important), Flinch and Flinch in front of them so they know you mean business, but present the up-most of classiness Flinch of all time.

5). If your dearest friend decides to move to the east coast (my Melissa Ann and shout out to to pursue their dreams FLINCH your heart out, be upset, cry, and try and talk them into staying... and after you throw your tantrum and they still decide to leave you, send them off with your blessing!

6). If your shopping at Borders Book Store and A) they don't have a paper back version of "Committed" by Elizabeth Gilbert in stock, Flinch and then sit your butt down in the New Age section and read about how to get your Flinching under control. Or B) just Flinch and go buy it at Target for 30% less.

To all my fellow Flincher's Downtown and across the globe, under no circumstance allow Flinching to happen in the presence of bums, you could get hurt and therefore, I recommend that all Downtowner's become friends with 'The Captain' ... he'll protect you!

Flinching out,

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